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Posts Tagged ‘Divorced stepparent’

C:  OK, so I’m not the hippest stepmom in the world. I don’t appreciate the latest music, and more important, don’t have an open mind when it comes to new and different artists. So, when K. told me that Lady Gaga was her new favorite artist, I said, “Who?” For all of you ‘old foggies’ like me, Lady Gaga came on the scene in 2007, has two hit albums and several hit songs. (To date, she has sold over eight million albums and 35 million singles digitally worldwide.) She is most known for the crazy outfits and hairdos that are an intimate part of her persona. She has stated that she is inspired by fashion and it is an essential component of her songwriting and performances, aka Madonna. It wasn’t until I saw her on Oprah that I began to appreciate her music and her style. She does have a beautiful voice, and is just trying to differentiate herself in the crowded music field. K. saw Lady Gaga for the accomplished music professional she was early on, by looking at the fashion differentiator as a plus for this artist. K. was always my little fashionista…….

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C:  A thousand apologies as I write this, because I’ve already been told by K. that I was wrong, and she was peeved at me. But I will share my infraction with you all to get other opinions. K. was over at Christmas and although she had her computer, she used my computer one day and logged into her Facebook account. Now, as full disclosure, when I got my Facebook account, I tried to ‘friend’ K., but was denied. She said she didn’t want her mother to have access to her writings and pictures. Is this a red flag??? I think yes. Anyway, I didn’t push it. So, a few days after Christmas, I go to access my Facebook account, and K.’s comes up, as she did not log out. OK, honestly, what would you do?

  1. log out of K.’s account and log into your own
  2. take a peek at K.’s account, snoop around, then get out and don’t tell her
  3. take a peek at K.’s account, snoop around, then get out and tell her
  4. take a peek at K.’s account, snoop around, then get out, tell her and make recommendations on things she should change or delete

I chose ‘d’, and therefore I get the ‘evil stepmother’ award! I’m sorry K!!!! What would you have done?

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C:  My husband just shared with me something that happened the day of our wedding, that I’d like to share with you. E and I got married on December 19. I asked K to be my MOH, along with my mom and Ed’s mom. When K arrived with my mom, her ‘grammy’, she kissed Ed, said hello to several of the guests and then asked Ed where I was – saying that she wanted to go and help me get dressed. I was so happy to see her when she came to my room. She took right over, keeping me calm along the way, and helping me with my ‘look’ and taking pictures. We had a ball together, and she walked me downstairs to be married. It was a beautiful day spent with friends, family and my favorite little redhead! Thanks K for the wonderful toast………you make me so proud. XXOO.

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C:  As I sit here on New Years Day, 2010, I think about what I hope for in the year ahead for K and I. Well, mine is easy. I want a job. But for K I want so much. I’d love for her to get on track and get enrolled in college, or at least start taking some courses at the local community college. I’d like her to get serious about finding a job where she works at least 30 hours a week and gets paid a decent salary. I hope she focuses on paying off her debts, and learns that paying people back should be a priority over buying yourself more clothes. I hope she takes this year and focuses on herself and her future. Doing the right thing is hard, so I hope she finds the courage to take the hard route this year. Share with me your plans and aspirations for the year ahead………..

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C:  What a difference a day makes. OK, ten days. So, we decided to take things one step at a time, and find K a car. Maybe ‘home’ would be more bearable if she had the ability to come and go as she pleased. This would also help her get a much needed second job, and the incentive to get enrolled in a local community college. Then she got picky about what the car looked like! Finally we settled on selling her my fiancé’s Honda Accord. (This could be a big mistake, but we’ll take a chance….) Now, we just needed to teach her how to drive a standard, get auto insurance, register and insure the car and get it inspected. We got everything done, and she’s mobile. Any guesses on how long it will take her to get that much needed second job, so she can make a monthly payment to me, and pay her insurance bill???? K isn’t what I would call overly aggressive………but she is #1 in coming up with great excuses…….

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C:  Navigating the stepping stones of life is not easy. Especially when you are a divorced stepparent of a nineteen-year-old girl, named K. So, my current dilemma is this: K’s life is falling apart, boyfriend problems, money problems, she hates where she lives – in her biomom’s basement. She needs a car, isn’t getting enough hours at her waitressing job, and needs to get enrolled in college. The dilemma – K wants to come live with me!!! OK, I feel some level of obligation to help out, as both of her dysfunctional bioparents are not in a position to help – but guess what, I’m getting married in 19 days, and I’m currently looking for a job. HELP………any thoughts?

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